Tuesday, 18 December 2012

...Think I Do, Actually...

I haven't been very kind to my readers, have I? Not writing for half a year. That's bad. I know some of you (if you're still out there) think I deserve some kind of punishment for that. And I probably do.

To be perfectly honest, I have found it hard to write. Life goes on, and this spanking thing has taken a back seat, for a while. I don't really know why.

I have always written about the light side of it, the fun side, and to me that has always been important. I am not saying it isn't fun, any more. Rather that we haven't had much time for the fun bit, and that is sad.

At the moment I have had doubts about it, feeling silly for enjoying it. What makes a grown up woman enjoy being smacked on her bottom? Really? I'm not saying it is wrong, or even that it is silly, just that it hasn't been the same for a while. Maybe I'm growing up, and having a period of self doubt and reflection.

Spanking has never been the main thing between Felicia and me. It has almost always been there, though, like a thing we do for the fun of it. I said almost, because it wasn't at first.

I met her in my first year at uni. I was young and stupid (I'm less young now, but still stupid). Not that that had anything to do with it, but I was. She just appeared in my life, this beautiful, impressive, gorgeous and fantastic woman. It would be so easy to say I fell in love with her, but it wasn't easy. I was overwhelmed, although in the most positive sense of the word.

We became friends, and I could think of nothing but her. Still the thought of being in love hadn't entered my mind. I was quite inexperienced, then. Not completely unkissed, but not very experienced, either. Felicia had become my friend, and I was in awe.

She, on the other hand, knew what she wanted. And when she showed me it could be a physical side to our relationship I was stunned, and terrified. I didn't believe I was into girls, and realising that all this awe, all this fascination, was part of something else, part of falling in love, was really strange, for me.

Looking back, it should have been obvious that I was really into girls, but at the time, I didn't understand that. I said I was stupid, didn't I?

Spanking came soon afterwards, but not immediately. Felicia often joked about it with me, said she should spank me, or that I deserved a punishment. At one time I dared her, and she spanked me. That's it, really. It was all very silly, and done with a lot of giggling and that sort of thing. But I liked it.

When she did it again, she was a little harsher, and I told her that it hurt. 'It is supposed to hurt,' she replied. And I think it was at that moment it became something very special.

It's a long story, and we've gone through different stages, but it has always been for fun, and not really a part of some submission/dominance thing, not really, although she is very good at taking charge, and I quite like that. But we don't have that kind of relationship.

Neither is it just sexual, not a kind of foreplay. I'm not stupid, I do understand that 'fun' really means exciting or arousing, but spanking is quite separate from sex...most of the time.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you about this. And that it hasn't been so much fun for a while. Not that we don't enjoy it, rather that it seems as if we don't have time for fun.

Last Saturday, Felicia smacked my bottom, with my hairbrush. I said I thought it felt a bit silly, but that is more when I try to talk about it. Then it wasn't. I really liked it, and I felt I had missed it.

I do like it when she spanks me the right amount, so that it isn't just 'tap-tap' and for shows, but that it hurts, really hurts, but not too much, just the right amount of sharpness.

Take care, and sorry, once again, for waiting so long to post. And just to add a little joy to the winter darkness, this post is accompanied by a completely unrelated but nice picture of a girl in pointe shoes.

Just a note. I have had to, temporarily, monitor the comments. It's because I won't be able to check the blog for a while, and there is just so much spam coming through, at the moment.