I know, I know...Hamilton didn't win the Malaysian Grand Prix, he finished fifth. We all know what that means. Or to be clear. Me and my girlfriend, the lovely Felicia, have a bet which says that whenever Lewis Hamilton wins a F1 race I get to give her six of the best with implement of my choosing and if he doesn't win, then Felicia gets to whack Miranda's bottom as long as she wants and with what implement she chooses.
Nothing in the bet says anything about knickers but it is assumed, as of last week, that knickers may be removed on the request of the winner of the bet.
Sunday morning, we both dragged ourselves from the bed and stumbled into out living room to fall down in the sofa to watch the race. I knew the chances of Hamilton winning were slim but a girl is allowed to hope...isn't she?
I don't know what was worst, the thought of my upcoming spanking that seemed to be more and more inevitable the longer the race continued or my giggling girlfriend. She really enjoyed this.
Race lost and Miranda was to be smacked. Felicia decided that Miranda was to be smacked immediately. I should have been more grateful for that but at that very moment my thoughts were elsewhere. Anyway, Miranda had to kneel in the sofa and red haired girlfriend eagerly pulled down her pyjama bottom.
It has to be said that Felicia was merciful. She decided to only give me six of the best and with her very own bath brush. I don't know if she was trying to prove a point but there I was, bare bottomed waiting for the brush.
Six of her best is really good...or bad, depending on your perspective. I can tell you it hurt, she has a knack for this, she manages to get some kind of extra sting with each delivery. Miranda's bottom was on fire when the over was over.
I don't know what it is with dirty minded red haired girls but red shining bottoms seem to inspire them. Felicia insisted on treating my bottom with lotion. A girl has to put up with a lot...sigh.
And I can tell you she is very sloppy when it comes to applying the lotion. She missed her target and her hands were all over the place (read, my bottom!). Instead of cooling Miranda down she managed to increase the heat.
Well, it comes a point in those circumstances when a girl doesn't regret having her pyjama bottom around her knees any more. So, despite the disastrous outcome of the race, it turned out to be a rather nice morning.