Let me be a little serious, for a change. I can't help but thinking about what all this spanking is about. Why do we do it and what is it good for? That sort of questions.
I know you are thinking that Miranda hasn't been smacked enough and now she lets her mind wander. Perhaps it is true. Although I was smacked a little this Saturday. We were watching the news and Felicia sat in the sofa and I was draped across her lap, bottom bared and she with a hairbrush in her hand. Whenever there was something she was annoyed with or something she found silly in the news she took it out on my bottom.
Unfair, you may say and indeed, it was unfair. The thing is that I liked it. I really wanted her to be able to smack me when she felt frustrated by something. It wasn't that I felt guilty or responsible but because I wanted to be there for her and have her do things with me.
This was only a silly game and mostly for fun but it made me think and remember how I was when we met. We were only kids and we didn't started with spanking right away. We are naughty but a little normal too. We both had very vivid imaginations and we liked to talk about our strange ideas and fantasies.
The thing is that I remember a kind of fantasy or vision I had quite early in our friendship. I sort of imagined Felicia as a queen, sitting on throne, dressed in a wide flowing dress in golden and green and her lovely red hair flowing down over her shoulders. I on the other hand was kneeling by her throne. I kind of liked that image and when I looked closer I realised that I was naked. I had this lovely necklace of gold that had things hanging from it like the rays of the sun and I had golden chains and bands around my wrists and ankles and even a chain around my waist but no clothes. I was the slave who always followed the queen wherever she went.
I had this other fantasy about me as a princess but the younger sister of Felicia who was the heir to the throne. The king and queen had red hair like Felicia while I had my brownish boring hair. She was always dressed in beautiful gowns and dresses while I ran around the castle naked or dressed only in the flimsiest of clothes.
And there were all these silly rules I didn't understand and always managed to break. I was a rebellious child and didn't want to be polite to people at the court who were rude to me. I always managed to insult some important guest or noble man or something.
And what happened then, do you think? Yes, I had to be punished. I thought it very unfair and humiliating because I had to apologise even if I had been treated badly and then I was punished. I had to kneel and be whipped. There were always a lot of servants and courtiers and even the one I had insulted present. They were all witnessing me getting my bottom whipped. And I was always naked and had I been wearing something I had always to take it off.
Always when I had those fantasies I felt utterly humiliated and very, very aroused and I used to do that which you may do when you are on your own and have arousing thoughts.
Those are strange fantasies for someone growing up but I was a strange child...and a strange youngster. What I am trying to say, which I will try to say while I am still in this confessing mode, is that I have always had this idea of me being subject to something or someone and being punished, fairly or unfairly for things that I did. I was always fascinated by it and I always found some pleasure in it.
When I talk with Felicia about this she tells me it is just me not wanting to grow up and trying to dodge my responsibilities. I guess she is right. We don't have that relationship where she decides everything and I just do what I am told. She would never want that. The thing is that I am not sure I would want it either but part of me long for something like that.
I am devoted to Felicia. I love her with all my heart and I trust her with my life. That is why she can spank me whenever she wants to. I trust her and I let her do that. She allows herself to be a little dominant and spank me or order me around sometimes and I love it.
I even suggested to Felicia that she would lay down some rules that I had to stick to and if I didn't she would punish me. She was not that keen on the idea but we have been talking about it. She still thinks I am trying to dodge my responsibilities.
Sorry, it is the winter that gets to me. Soon I will be myself again and stop thinking about serious things.