Thursday, 6 September 2007


Have you ever travelled by train in the UK? Then perhaps, you have seen the station master, or whatever he is called, the person (not necessarily a man, come to think of it) who waves to the engineer and tells them that it is ok to leave the station. Have you then seen that this person often holds in their hand a strange object. It looks like a gigantic, thick plastic spoon but it is completely flat. I don't know if they really use it but I suppose the general idea is that it is a sign that they use to wave to the driver of the train. They used to have flags but nowadays you often see that big object with a long handle (half a metre or so) and a flat head.

What is this about? Has Miranda, finally, gone mad? No change in that department. The idea about this rant about long objects with handles is that it struck me (pun intended) that this sign thing object would be very suitable for spanking. And what great force you would get it you would use it on a poor girl's mine. Ouch! Double ouch with knobs on!!

Often when I go by train and see someone wielding such a sign I get these strange fantasies about me sitting on a train, discovering that I have no ticket and being led from the train at some small, obscure station in the countryside only to be smacked by the station master and his big sign. He is (it is a he in my fantasies) sitting on the platform as the train leaves with me over his knees, skirt up and knickers down and smacking the living daylight out of me.

I know I am strange. But it is often such silly things that starts a train of thought (another pun intended) that makes my cheeks red with embarrassment. Anyway, that kind of blush can be quite exciting too. You know what I mean.


Wystan E said...

I know what you mean. The innocent and commonplace, viewed through the spectacles of the -- differently eroticized -- can be maddeningly sexual. On those trains you mention -- well, let's say, a bus -- the view of a standing female simply holding onto a strap immediately conjures a bondage scenario -- poor dear, her blouse is about to loose its buttons ... It is worse, of course, if one is (saY a paranoid schizophrenic (which I trust I am not) -- in which case random events are interpreted ingeniously as pieces of a jigsaw puzzle of conspiracy... sorry for the rant -- nice post.
Wystan E

Anonymous said...

I must admit Miranda that I have had a very similar thought. I live quite close to a railway station and you have read of my own journeys by train in my stories. I think you may have just given me an idea for a story...thank you much. By the way, I hope Lewis Hamilton comes through for you in the next race: what is the penalty for you if MacLaren are thrown out by the FIA for cheating against Ferrari?

Anonymous said...

Oops, sorry. 'Anonymous' above is Kirsten Ellison: bad Curtseygirl forgot she doesn't belong to this family, just the Yahoo one. (But clever Miranda recognised me anyway didn't you? I don't care what Janice says about you you are a very clever girl.)

Miranda said...

Thanks Wystan for understanding. It was just about that, the simple things that makes you start fantasising.

Dear Kirsten, good to hear from you. I did think it was you who wrote the first comment although I didn't have to wonder for too long. Don't you think railways give a lot of food for thoughts? And, no, I dare not think about what will happen if MacLaren get thrown out. Bad, bad, Ferrari.

And Tiny Miranda curtsys for the compliment about her ability to think...smiles.

Alyx said...

Ah, it's interesting how everyday items can generate such fantasies, isn't it? It never fails that when I'm watching the TV (which is not often, actually) I end up hefting the remote control and smacking my thigh with it. If I had a lovely bottom poised over my knee she would definitely be providing some entertainment during the commercial breaks! *LOL*

Solo said...

I know exactly what you mean. As I come in to London Bridge every day I notice one of these objects hanging up, unattended, and have often thought about "borrowing" it for the same purpose. Obviously I haven't ever done that, but the thought was nice :D